Monday 6 October 2014

The Inaugural "Raph Clarke Medal"

The season has ended.

Hawthorn wins another premiership. Whoop de fucking doo.

St Kilda win a wooden spoon, Lenny Hayes retires. Put a fork in them. They're done.

Priddis wins the Brownlow. Deserved it, but who honestly saw that coming?

That leaves only one thing left to work out: Who were the worst players of the season?
This is the battle of the bottom dwellers, the shit kickers, and the all round disgraces to the game.


This year it was a tight affair. To qualify for this prestigious medal, players must have played a total of 8 games, and be hated more by their own supporters than the opposition.

We will begin with the runners up. These two players gave it a red hot crack this year, but finished tantalising short.

3. Travis Cloke
Travis Cloke returned to his poor form, poor kicking and poor fashion choice. In an average year for Collingwood he wasn't worth his over the top pay-packet. He's just lucky his brother Cameron has already shamed the Cloke name enough that one poor year won't damage it any more.



2. Zachary Dawson
Zac Dawson continued to be his ridiculous self. The man is hated by every Fremantle supporter yet Ross Lyon still wants him as a son in law. I actually don't understand how this child gets a game. He'd honestly struggle to break into Blackburn's senior backline. Shocking player, even worse bloke.



As stated above, these players all worked tirelessly on their ability to miss a target, miss a tackle, and miss a goal. But there was one player who surpassed all this year.
So it is with great honour, that TJR announces the winner of the inaugural Raph Clarke Medal  to be....

TYRONE (cheapshot) VICKERY





Tyrone Vickery represented everything that was wrong with the Tigers in the first half of the year. He looked suited to EFL Div4 at times as he dropped chest marks and imparted nothing but misguided violence.
Some men buy expensive cars to overshadow their certain shortcomings. Tyrone simply throws punches to hide the fact he can't actually play football. It's as though he thinks that physicality can make up for being ineffective, clumsy and difficult to watch. His season was summed up in one hit on outgoing West Coast champion Dean Cox.

Vickery's cheap shot

A worthless, expendable, useless and all round weak player. He sports a face most men would love to hit, and now he finally has an award befitting of his ability.

Congratulations Tyrone, you're officially TJR disapproved.


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