Spring Carnival racing is here! Time to dust off the old bag of fruit and polish the boots.
The fillies are in superb form, and horses are going well too.
It's common knowledge that all men love the races. It's betting, it's drinking and its women. Possibly our three favourite things.
And when it comes to going to the races, preparation is key. At TJR we have put in the hard yards and long hours to provide you with a short list of the five F's essentials for a phenomenal day.
Fanciest Suit
To make the best out of the day you've got to look the part. Don't settle for the old hand-me-down, well-worn, wrong fitting option, nor that same suit you rocked at the Year 9 Formal.
Invest in a quality suit, and feel like Harvey Specter all day long.
Fat Wad of Cash
Once you look the part, you need a wallet to match. No one half-asses the races and enjoys it. Be prepared to spend the dough for a good time. Beers must flow, bets must be made, and if you happen to find yourself a winner, shout those who are having a shocker.
But most importantly, budget for the day. There is nothing worse than running out of cash before the last race and watching you're "sure thing" romp home for a win.
Form Guide
There is nothing worse than watching a bloke pick a horse based on a name or a whim. Yes they may get lucky, and yes at TJR we acknowledge you must go with the gut sometimes, but at least make that gut somewhat informed!
Grab the paper in the morning, check out what the experts say and don't throw away your money. Check yo self before you wreck yo self. Smart punting is good punting.
Flask
Uncertain economic times, gambling, and overpriced spirits mean a flask can be a necessary addition to all outfits. Fill it up with your favourite hooch, stash it in the jacket pocket and be careful about divulging its identity. Who you share your flask with is a sacred tradition, deeply endowed with respect and trust. Using a flask properly is about quiet sophistication among friends, and reminding yourself that you're a man who drinks real booze.
Focal Lenses
Better known as shades, sunnies, or goggles - these are essential.
Even if Melbourne has tossed up an average spring day, a good pair of lenses are pivotal to a day at the races for two reasons.
Firstly, you're in Melbourne. Correctly guessing the weather is more difficult than finding a winner in the Cup. Even if the day starts out bleary there is a good chance it'll turn into a pearler.
Secondly and most importantly they are a necessary addition for the inevitable amount of scouting you'll be doing. The filly's have donned their best frock, and spent hours working on their hair and makeup. It would actually be rude not to. But do it right, don't be lazy, sunnies on, and never forget to always inform your stable mate.
There you have it fellas. Following these 5 F's will ensure you won't find yourself getting effed in any way other than desired.
